You lied
by mooresomore
Summary: Logan leaves Kendall a note. Implied Kendall/Jo. Rated M for themes  because I'm paranoid . There is some self-harm in the sequel. Summary sucks; sorry!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody: Big Time Rush, the characters, and all referenced scenes belong to Nickelodeon, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

There was a piece of paper with his name on it, in Logan's handwriting. Kendall picked it up, opened it, and read the words Logan wrote.

_It seems like just yesterday we went for a ride_

_Little did I know everything you'd say was a lie_

_If I would've known then what I know now_

_I would never have let you bring me do_

_I let my guard down around you_

_You made me believe I could trust you_

_I let you see a side of me not many people know about_

_And I thought I had you figured out_

_I'll never forget that fateful day_

_When we both said we had something to say_

_I told you to go first; you said, "No, you can go ahead."_

_I did, and it'll always be stuck in my head._

_Everything came out, the way I felt_

_How a smile from you could make me melt_

_I asked you if you wanted to go to a movie and dinner_

_Finally saying my feelings (a rarity for me), I felt like a winner_

_But then you said what you had to say_

_Which totally ruined my day_

_You told me about you and her, how you were dating_

_After just telling you what I had, it was frustrating_

_You asked if she could come along, as a guest_

_I don't why, but I said yes_

"_Thanks, you're the best." You said_

"_Yeah." Was all I said_

_Finally, the day came to do the "date"_

_I sarcastically thought, "Yippee, I can't wait."_

_This was as awkward as I thought it'd be_

_At least the movie was something I wanted to see_

_I skipped out on dinner, I couldn't take one more minute_

_After you two left, I went to my car and sat in it_

_I hit my steering wheel and started to cry_

_I couldn't believed I'd bought your lie_

_After regaining my composure, I drove away_

_Then tried to block all memories of that day_

_Some days I see you two and it makes me mad_

_But most of the time, it just makes me sad_

_Some days I think "What might have been"_

_But then I remember that I have great friends_

_So, take a bow_

_I hope you're happy now._

Kendall reread the letter a couple more times; he knew what he had to do. He dialed Logan. "Logan, it's me. Wherever you are, call me. I need to know you're ok. I know you hate me, and you have every right to. But just call. Please. I'm worried about you." Kendall waited for his phone to ring.


	2. Sequel

**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody: Big Time Rush, the characters, and all referenced scenes belong to Nickelodeon, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

"Wherever you are, call me. I need to know you're ok." Logan listened to the message again; Kendall seemed really worried about him. Even though he didn't want to, he dialed Kendall's number.

Fortunately, it went straight to voicemail. "Hey, Kendall, it's me. I'm fine; don't worry about me."

After Logan hung up, his eyes flickered back to the razorblade on the sink. He had cut when he was younger (like in eighth grade); he'd promised himself he wouldn't ever do it again. But right now, he needed to _feel_ something; he felt numb. This time, he was going to cut somewhere it wouldn't be easily noticed; he didn't want another lecture from his parents or Mama Knight (or Kendall, James, or Carlos for that matter). He took off his shoes and socks and looked at his ankle. _Perfect. No one will see it unless I wear shorts and flip-flops._

He sketched a start on his left ankle with a pen, then grabbed the razorblade and cut off the end of the pen (so he could have ink), and started to cut. Each cut made Logan _feel _and relax. He didn't care about the mess; he was in the tub, he could rinse it out and scrub it. Once he'd cut the lines, he washed them with rubbing alcohol, hissing in pain as the alcohol hit the fresh wounds. He covered it with gauze and tape. Logan crawled into bed, feeling peace for the first time since the whole Kendall-Jo-him thing had happened.

The next morning, Logan woke up and looked at the new scars (well, tattoo really). _ I'm always a superstar, no matter what anyone else says or thinks.' _Logan thought. He knew he was going to have to go back; Big Time Rush needed him. Logan said goodbye to his parents (he hid the razorblade in his pajama drawer), and headed back to the Palmwoods.

Kendall was the only one home when Logan walked in. "Oh, thank god you're ok!" He went to hug Logan, who stood there, stiff as a board.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I think you and James should share a room."

"Logan, I wanted to say something. It's just…"

"It's just what?"

"You know what? It doesn't matter. You're here and you're safe."

"Yeah." Kendall and Carlos switched room, and things seemed to be going well.

***Epilogue (June)***

It had taken time, but Logan had finally come around to the idea of Kendall and Jo. He would hang out with them sometimes, but not very often. He was still single, but that was ok (he'd tried things with Camille, but it hadn't worked out).

He'd managed to keep the "tattoo" hidden pretty well (it had been winter and colder), but today was the first day he'd worn shorts and flip-flops. Kendall saw it. "Logan? When'd you get the tattoo? It's cool."

"When I went to visit my parents. You know, after…Thanks." _If you only knew._

"Oh, right. Did they know?"

"About the tattoo? No."

Kendall thought for a minute and looked again, noticing the ink was the same consistency and the lines looked a little jagged. "Did you do it yourself?"

"No." Logan lied.

"Logan Mitchell! We talked about this. You promised you wouldn't cut again."

"Well, what would you do when the supposed 'love of your life' turns out to be a liar?" Logan regretted those words.

"You loved me?"

"Yeah." Logan said.

"Well, if I hadn't met Jo, I would've been with you." Kendall said. "Hey, Jo and I are going to a movie tonight. Wanna come?"

"Nah."

"Hey Logan? Thanks for being there for me. You're an awesome friend."

"You're welcome. Thank you too." Logan knew it'd take time, but he'd get over Kendall.


End file.
